{"@context":"http://iiif.io/api/presentation/3/context.json","id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/iiif/m03xs5m11k/manifest","type":"Manifest","label":{"en":["Tia Cole, January 31, 2024"]},"logo":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/organizations/logo_images/000/000/255/original/Aviary_TRL_Header.png?1704389184","metadata":[{"label":{"en":["Description"]},"value":{"en":["\u003cp\u003eTia Cole, born in 1984 and raised in the Highlands of Lynn, is the oldest of four children and the mother of three. She is a graduate of Lynn English, where she was a founding member of the GSA and North Shore Community College. Her family has deep roots on the North Shore, as far back as the 17th century. She describes her upbringing as “rough and tumble” but with a good deal of affection and community. Tia started going to Fran’s Place after school as a teenager, and she remembers it as a quiet and supportive place to work. Her January 2024 interview discusses being a “queer kid” and the dress code and cultural conflict with the administration at Lynn English, a battle she fought while remaining closeted to her parents. Tia talks about the changing language of gender and sexual identity among various generations. She also talks about serving as a surrogate and the painful ostracization from the LGBTQ+ community when she, as a polyamorous person, began a relationship with a man. Her interview addresses strategies for pushing back against religious arguments about LGBTQ+ people. \u003c/p\u003e"]}}],"summary":{"en":["\u003cp\u003eTia Cole, born in 1984 and raised in the Highlands of Lynn, is the oldest of four children and the mother of three. She is a graduate of Lynn English, where she was a founding member of the GSA and North Shore Community College. Her family has deep roots on the North Shore, as far back as the 17th century. She describes her upbringing as \u0026ldquo;rough and tumble\u0026rdquo; but with a good deal of affection and community. Tia started going to Fran\u0026rsquo;s Place after school as a teenager, and she remembers it as a quiet and supportive place to work. Her January 2024 interview discusses being a \u0026ldquo;queer kid\u0026rdquo; and the dress code and cultural conflict with the administration at Lynn English, a battle she fought while remaining closeted to her parents. Tia talks about the changing language of gender and sexual identity among various generations. She also talks about serving as a surrogate and the painful ostracization from the LGBTQ+ community when she, as a polyamorous person, began a relationship with a man. Her interview addresses strategies for pushing back against religious arguments about LGBTQ+ people.\u0026nbsp;\u003c/p\u003e"]},"provider":[{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/aboutus","type":"Agent","label":{"en":["Through A Rainbow Lens"]},"homepage":[{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/","type":"Text","label":{"en":["Through A Rainbow Lens"]},"format":"text/html"}],"logo":[{"id":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/organizations/logo_images/000/000/255/original/Aviary_TRL_Header.png?1704389184","type":"Image"}]}],"thumbnail":[{"id":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/collection_resource_files/thumbnails/000/226/959/small/open-uri20240204-1814131-2ouo7a_1707058966.jpg?1707040970","type":"Image","format":"image/jpeg"}],"items":[{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959","type":"Canvas","label":{"en":["Media File 1 of 1 - open-uri20240204-1814131-2ouo7a.mp4"]},"duration":5155.789,"width":640,"height":360,"thumbnail":[{"id":"https://d9jk7wjtjpu5g.cloudfront.net/collection_resource_files/thumbnails/000/226/959/small/open-uri20240204-1814131-2ouo7a_1707058966.jpg?1707040970","type":"Image","format":"image/jpeg"}],"items":[{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/content/1","type":"AnnotationPage","items":[{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/content/1/annotation/1","type":"Annotation","motivation":"painting","body":{"id":"https://aviary-p-unitedlynnpride.s3.wasabisys.com/collection_resource_files/resource_files/000/226/959/original/open-uri20240204-1814131-2ouo7a.mp4?1707040960","type":"Video","format":"video/mp4","duration":5155.789,"width":640,"height":360},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959","metadata":[]}]}],"annotations":[{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633","type":"AnnotationPage","label":{"en":["Tia Cole transcript 4-25-24 [Transcript]"]},"items":[{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/1","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nToday's date is January 31st, [2024]. My name is Andrew Darien. I'm a Professor of History at Salem State University, and I'm conducting this interview as part of the Mass Humanities funded project \"Through a Rainbow Lens: A Reflection on Lynn's LGBTQ+ History.\" I'm honored to be joined today by Tia Cole. She is a graduate of Lynn English High School, where she helped found the GSA [Gay Straight Alliance]. She is also a graduate of North Shore Community College. She is an interdisciplinary local artist, community organizer, and arts advocate who serves as the special projects manager for Creative Collective. Can I confirm that I have your permission to record this conversation?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=0.0,54.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/2","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYes, you do.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=54.0,56.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/3","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nThanks, Tia. So, you were born in Lynn. Your mother's from Lynn, your father was born in Salem. Do you have any idea how far back your family's roots are in either Lynn, Salem, or the greater North Shore?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=56.0,76.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/4","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI was in charge of researching the family tree, and we go back to the 1600s when we first colonized the area on both sides. Most of them settled, [on] my father's side, in Beverly and my mother's side, in Lynn. A lot of the family moved up towards York, Maine, and Canada, but all came pretty much back down to Essex County.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=76.0,106.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/5","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nSo, it's pretty accurate to say that you have very deep roots in Lynn?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=106.0,114.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/6","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYes, yeah.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=114.0,117.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/7","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWhich specific neighborhood of Lynn did you grow up in?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=117.0,124.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/8","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI grew up in the Highlands. I have a love of High Rock Tower because it was what I used to see from my bedroom window in the triple decker that we lived in, right by it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=124.0,137.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/9","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHow would you have described your neighborhood to people who don't know Lynn?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=137.0,147.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/10","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nIt was, you know, early 90s... low economic—just a lot of economic disparities there in the city at that time, and it was not the best neighborhood. It was pretty rough and tumble, but we had a great community. There was probably, like, 20 kids that lived on the block and I had the biggest backyard. So, we were always in my backyard hanging out, and playing, and I lived a block away from board school. It was all my people, but not necessarily anyone from outside of Lynn, I think, would really understand how you feel safe in a community that wasn't necessarily safe. But, I always feel safe when I'm with my people. I think that's always a trending topic when I talk about Lynn. People say, \"hey, is that a safe place?\" and I'm like, \"well, you know, it's what you make it.\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=147.0,201.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/11","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI imagine when one grows up anywhere, your reality is your own and you simply don't know any different. When, if ever, did you start to realize that this was a quote \"rough or dangerous community\", at least in terms of the perception of outsiders?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=201.0,224.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/12","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI mean, I think everyone from Lynn grew up with the \"Lynn, Lynn City of Sin\" -rhyme in their head and I know to this day, people are still trying to get rid of it. But I mean, you can meet people from other countries and they'll know it, which is... interesting. I think I realized it because we had a lot of gang violence directly outside of my house. So, there was just, you know— there would be shootings and stuff right outside of the house and the police would never come so and my mom would be worried about it. I remember all those things growing up.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=224.0,264.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/13","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWhat was it like being the oldest of four siblings?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=264.0,270.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/14","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nIt was. it was good. I think that it definitely catered to a nurturing spirit that I still carry today. Always looking out and trying to take care of, —but also being a little bit of a bully, because I am the oldest. And then it also gave me a lot of autonomy because my parents were busy raising other kids and trying to do things like buy a home, so everyone was really dedicated on investing in everyone's future. It gave me a lot of time to lay in the backyard and read up in a tree.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=270.0,303.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/15","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWas your family very religious?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=303.0,307.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/16","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI always joke that my parents were almost like born-again Christians, but not as annoying. We grew up,— I think we started to go to church when I was probably about eight years old and it was nice, again, [to have] a sense of community. I like having that feeling of a place where you belong. The pastor was Reverend Simms, the Reverend, not pastor, but Reverend Simms— Simpson, sorry! My nanny used to call him 'Simms', but I don't think that was his actual name. He had a really beautiful, beautiful Scottish accent. To listen to him preach was just captivating. So, maybe I enjoyed religion for a long time, but it—it ended up actually not working out for me. I think that's part of my— my story as a queer person in Lynn... is the falling in and out of religion through the different places in the city.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=307.0,377.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/17","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWhich church did your family belong to?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=377.0,380.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/18","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nWe went to Bethany Church on Eastern Ave.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=380.0,387.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/19","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nYou want to maybe— maybe we'll return to your falling out from the church in a little bit. Like around elementary school age, how do you think your parents would have described you at the time?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=387.0,407.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/20","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nNever actually thought about this. Probably stubborn, smart, bookworm. Yeah.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=407.0,419.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/21","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWas that, sort of, consistent? Were you similar in high school or did your personality change?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=419.0,428.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/22","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI think my personality changed a lot after puberty, from being a little bit introverted to being extroverted in general.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=428.0,439.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/23","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI didn't hear that last part from extroverted.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=439.0,443.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/24","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nIntroverted to like... extroverted, and very extra in all aspects: very creative, very loud, visually loud and verbally loud and in your face a lot.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=443.0,457.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/25","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHow did your parents react to those changes?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=457.0,461.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/26","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI think that it was very frustrating for them because they had always wanted me to really be dedicated to education and excelling and being a \"straight A\" student. My rebellion was very hard, but also I think that if they could relate to it, because they were pretty rebellious when they were young kids in the 60s.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=461.0,491.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/27","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nDid your rebellion and extrovertism affect your grades or seriousness about school?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=491.0,500.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/28","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nIn the beginning of this you had said that I was a Lynn English graduate. I didn't graduate. I had, um— I had taken three jobs and night school classes and dropped out because, this is silly, —number one: I didn't think it was fair that the MCAS were being implemented for my grade level to...— and it was the first time they were going to be weighted on whether or not we should graduate based on the performance of the test, which I didn't agree with, and because I wasn't allowed to dye my hair red. I was the first high school generation after the unfortunate Columbine shooting, so those made the administration very, very anxious. They instituted a lot of, what seemed to me, —lots of dress code rules where you couldn't have your hair dyed or you couldn't wear certain clothes, or you couldn't wear T-shirts that have band logos on it, or— it was very much almost a uniform, but they didn't want to institute a uniform. That was the opposite of what I liked, so I didn't graduate. But, I did start college when I should have been in my sophomore year.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=500.0,571.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/29","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nDid you feel like there were certain parts of your identity that you are not allowed to express through the way that. you dressed or otherwise?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=571.0,582.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/30","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nEvery part, every part. That was, that was— it was very much in my head, yeah, the [indeterminable] administration. I was one of the first people to join the GSA, but I wasn't the first—I didn't necessarily found the group. I was just one of the first freshmen in the group. I was there when it was formed, and it was really a struggle for me to get that going. We had tried to collect— create a group for peer-to-peer counseling so that you could have a buddy to talk to you when you were going through a hard time. All these things that were changes, we were trying to make to better support the whole community, and it felt like the administration kept knocking all of these things down saying, \"we don't need these. You guys just need to do better in school. You wouldn't have so many problems if you weren't so worried about having your hair a different color,\" things like that.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=582.0,641.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/31","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWas there any correlation between one's hair color, and dress, and expression of sexual identity?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=641.0,653.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/32","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI think that my friend group was the odd—y'know, the different hair color and the different styles and, and we were all queer. I mean maybe, like two out of the 15 people that we all hung out with all the time, maybe weren't. But most of us were queer [or] on some spectrum of it. Whether it's so much like— we had, you know, straight up lesbians to people who were just very bi-curious and trying to figure things out. I mean, we're all in high school so that just makes sense. But, yeah, yeah, I think that there was some real direct correlation between breaking outside of that mold and being something that, you know, is different than what we were told we could be.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=653.0,703.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/33","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI'm trying to do a little quick math in my head and I think I might be in the right ballpark. But maybe around your freshman year is when Matthew Shepard was murdered, and closer to your senior year was the Columbine incident. Do you have direct memory of learning about either of those episodes?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=703.0,727.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/34","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nMatthew Shepard I learned about later. Columbine was my freshman year, that was when—yeah, that year they made a rule that we couldn't wear trench coats because Columbine had the \"Trench Coat Mafia.\" They had blamed the mass shooting on heavy metal music, so we weren't allowed to wear shirts that had heavy metal bands on them or have any of that, like, 'goth', 'metal' type of look to us. Yeah. I'm trying to loop back to your question. There's a lot that comes up with that. I think of a lot of friends who who were sad, or just needed help, and were just being continuously harassed or bothered by the administration for things that they were afraid of. So, a lot of that judgment and fear that came in to controlling sense around us, and what we were allowed to express.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=727.0,791.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/35","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nPresumably, your parents knew you were part of the GSA?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=791.0,794.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/36","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nNo, no. My, my parents were very homophobic. They thought— my mother felt that, it [wasn't] necessarily homophobic, but she felt that women were only gay if they were abused, so for her was a mental illness. For my father, I think he was kind-of on the same, but you just got to stop was kind of his thing. And my mother had a little bit more empathy because she thought being queer is kind of a disease, you know, but my father was just like, \"it's just a bad choice.\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=794.0,831.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/37","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nIs this something that you heard them talking about? Or were they talking explicitly about you? Or they just didn't know what your exploration was like at the time?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=831.0,844.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/38","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nThey didn't really know what my exploration was necessarily. I mean, my father grew up very machismo. Very like, um— that toxic masculinity kind of thing, and my mother [was] very, very much a feminist in her own right. So, they would teach each other a lot. But I never talked to them about about being gay in any way, like, it was forced—the situation was forced out.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=844.0,873.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/39","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nAt what age?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=873.0,873.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/40","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nFifteen. When I was fifteen, I was taking care of a friend who was on a lot of drugs and my, he had tried to come into that, he was on so many drugs, —he tried to come into my parents house to come and get me because he wasn't safe, he had just gotten beat up. And, um, my dad thought he was sneaking in the house because he was my boyfriend. It was a huge scene, and the cops were called and I remember just screaming, \"I wasn't sneaking him in. I'm gay. I actually have a girlfriend. He's just not okay right now.\"...and that escalated the situation to more, like...I think I ran away from home after that.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=873.0,917.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/41","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nUh, that's a pretty fascinating episode. I wonder if in a certain way, your concern for your friend, which was, of course, the primary story at the time, almost gave you license to kind of come out to your dad and say, \"we have something really, really important going on right now. And by the way, the—the train of thought that you have is very askew.\" Do you remember thinking either then or after, \"oh, wow. I'm actually making a choice to come out to my dad?\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=917.0,971.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/42","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nNo, no, and what was happening is it was me defending myself. It was, you know, \"How [dare] you sneak boys into this house? This is so inappropriate,\" and I was like, \"I wasn't sneaking him in. It wasn't my\" —so [that] was my defense. It's— this is the most ridiculous thing ever. The cop, should he be here? Because a grown man beat up this child. Like, not my father, but he had gotten into a fight with somebody else and came to just seek help. He just needs help, he's not okay. And you're screaming at me because you think I was trying to have sex in my bedroom as a teenage child. Like, this isn't what was going on. We were hanging out yesterday with my girlfriend.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=971.0,1016.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/43","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nSo, you maybe ran away? It sounds like perhaps not for all that long and came back shortly thereafter?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1016.0,1025.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/44","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nFor about a month and a half.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1025.0,1029.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/45","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nOh, that that's not short at all.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1029.0,1031.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/46","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nAnd I came back with short— short purple hair, which was very much against what my mother wanted.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1031.0,1038.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/47","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWhere did you go?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1038.0,1041.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/48","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nWell, sometimes I slept in the woods. Sometimes I slept in the cemetery, Pine Grove Cemetery. But more often than not, I slept at friends houses. I had, you know, I had friends whose parents weren't aware or around, and I would sleep in their basements, or in their rooms, or.... I remember having to sneak up to a friends roof, outside their bedroom window, because their mom was going to come up and tuck them in goodnight. I found places. It wasn't the safest. It put me in some tough situations sometimes, but...","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1041.0,1065.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/49","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nIn retrospect, why do you think you ran away? There clearly were a number of conflicts, or issues, with your parents? What do you think was the driving one?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1065.0,1075.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/50","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI think that I could just take care of myself better. I just had a different plan for myself and, like I said, I was pretty rebellious, but I was pretty outspoken about what I was going to do. I had earned my GED before I even dropped out of school officially. I had started college when I should have been a sophomore in high school. I had already been working three jobs. I was buying my own clothes, buying my own food, taking care of my own transportation. So, it was really tough also to just follow rules when you're that independent, to have to be home at nine o'clock at night and you're like, \"Well, I'm working until ten. And I'm going to need some down time after that, and then I have to take a bus home. So, this just don't work for me.\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1075.0,1150.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/51","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nAnd this was when you were fifteen?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1150.0,1154.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/52","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nFifteen and sixteen, yeah.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1154.0,1158.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/53","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWow. What made you decide to come back?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1158.0,1166.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/54","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI had my own cell phone, I bought my own cell phone—this is that independence —I had bought my own cell phone. My mom had left a message with my little sisters on it asking me to come home. It still makes me emotional. I wanted to come home to see them.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1166.0,1190.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/55","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nYou felt very connected to your sisters. Are you still?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1190.0,1198.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/56","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYeah, yeah. We are— we're a really close family. As crazy as it sounds, we're a pretty close family.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1198.0,1206.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/57","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nAt this point in your life, had you already had romantic relationships?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1206.0,1214.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/58","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYeah. Yeah. I had. There was a lot of experimentation. I think, like I said, most of our friends group was queer. Within that group, there was a lot of experimenting, and we all kind of dated each other and.... I think they call them, polycues now. I think there's an actual word for it, where there wasn't back then! I already had a city girlfriend that that I was with. Yeah. So, there was a lot of experimenting and dating at that point, between all of our friends.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1214.0,1254.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/59","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nSo, obviously, the language and naming of our identities have shifted over time.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1254.0,1261.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/60","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYeah.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1261.0,1261.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/61","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nYou've been using the word 'queer' to describe you and your friend group. Is that the word you all used at the time? Or did different people use different labels?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1261.0,1274.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/62","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI think everyone used different labels. I think most of us just probably said 'bi'. I feel like that was— a lot of, everybody was bi. There was no real such thing as 'bi-curious'. Everyone was still trying to figure it out. Even the people that I love and I know grew up later on were just gay men, [they] were still trying to figure out who they were in that time period.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1274.0,1300.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/63","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nYou may know that as a part of this project, we are interviewing a number of LGBTQ+ elders. And that generation has a very different relationship to the word 'queer'. We know, of course, that it was a term of violence, and danger, and abuse, but would later, sort-of be appropriated by people within the movement, and calling yourself queer almost became an act of empowerment. Have you heard anything from older generations of of people who are less comfortable with that word?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1300.0,1346.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/64","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nNo. No. I haven't as much. I also am not really connected to the older generation. I'm sure we'll get into it, but once we lost our space, our third place with each other, I didn't have enough queers in my life—that were LGBTQ+ people, in my life that were a constant.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1346.0,1374.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/65","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nYou said once you lost your place?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1374.0,1378.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/66","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI lost Fran's. For me, it was my third place.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1378.0,1382.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/67","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nLet's talk about Fran's. What age were you when you first started going there?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1382.0,1391.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/68","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI was fifteen or sixteen. I would go there after my classes at North Shore, so I dropped out and I started North Shore right away. I would go there after class and order a Coke and do homework at the tables. No one really bugged me, and because it wasn't a big, busy time of the day or like... you know, nobody was playing attention, they didn't care that I wasn't... [cuts out]... in my place really quickly.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1391.0,1422.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/69","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nYou must have known that it was a lesbian bar when you went there for the first time? Or did you only discover that?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1422.0,1434.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/70","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI knew. No I knew. Later on, and I don't know if this is why, but later on my mom would joke about how she had gotten into an argument with my father and she would go to Fran's and she would go out dancing there, because it was the one place my dad was too homophobic to enter the doors. He refused to go in. So it was like my mom's safe space when she was like— in some way. So, I've always known about it.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1434.0,1456.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/71","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nYou don't happen to know if she would dance with men, women, or both?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1456.0,1463.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/72","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nUsually both, but usually her friends. She would go, you know, 'girls night', get the girls out and go out dancing. She would dance with everybody, I would assume. That's my mom, we're a lot alike.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1463.0,1478.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/73","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nSo, [it was] around 2000 [or] '99, that you start going for the first time. Can you describe Fran's Place to someone who's never heard of it or didn't know anything about it? What was it like?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1478.0,1500.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/74","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nThat was before I really got into the nightlife. For that time period, in that era, I was there at like four in the afternoon and it was quiet. There would always be some elder gays at the bar chatting with the bartender. But, I kept to myself and just kind of took it as a safe place to be able to do homework [and] that no one was going to bother me, or that I didn't have to worry about interacting. I didn't have to go home. It was quiet for me then.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1500.0,1538.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/75","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHow does it go from being a quiet place to a third home?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1538.0,1546.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/76","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nIt's when I turn like, I'm going to say twenty-one....for the record [laughs]. At this point, I already have a child and I have a broken relationship that I had gotten into when I was way too young. I just needed to be with my friends again and all my friends were, at that point, going to the bars and going to the gay clubs, and things like that. So, I ended up being like, \"I just need to get out. I need to get away. I need to see people that's not a two-year-old child or my boyfriend who doesn't like anything.\" —and I started hanging out with all my old friends from high school. We were in Fran's, and then it was nights out: it was drag, it was lights, it was dancing. and it was community and [the] people [were] there to support each other through what seemed like our worst times and what felt like our best times.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1546.0,1618.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/77","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\n[It seems like] Fran's was mostly a lesbian bar, but would be frequented by some gay men?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1618.0,1626.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/78","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYeah. Oh, yeah. We had our gay men in our crew too. [They] were always great and fun.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1626.0,1634.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/79","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWhat would it be certain times of day that those groups would predominate or there was no real correlation?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1634.0,1646.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/80","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nSo, well, I would say we would go— Thursdays were always very much like lesbian nights. I can't remember why, but for Thursday [it was] lesbian night. Eventually we turned that into a thing, because my friend ended up producing events and I bartended later on—way later on. Sundays was 'Latino Night', so it was always a mix of straight and gay in there. It was drag night and then Latino night. We would watch the drag shows— ot was amazing— and then we'd all dance until we had to get thrown out. But that was always a mixed crowd, because everyone wanted the dance to some reggaeton. So, it was quite mixed. But, everyone got along pretty well. I think that the only time that there was ever an issue between the gay or straight people— actually it wasn't even between them necessarily, there used to be a guy who was a pimp, and he would come in with his girls and they'd go out dancing, and he'd buy them drinks. I remember somebody messing with one of them and him shooting— shooting his gun off in the bar, but not hitting anybody. Just kind-of like a warning. Or [maybe] it was just outside the bar or something, I [just] remember having to run out. That was just, kind of— the story was it was in defense of the women that were in there. They were put in an unsafe situation, so it was there to help save them. But, I don't know now that I say it out loud as a grown woman. It's questionable.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1646.0,1748.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/81","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nIn general, perhaps with this exception, [it seems like] Fran's was a place of safety, refuge, and community. What about like outside the bar? Would people ever be harassed?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1748.0,1766.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/82","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYeah, that was tough. The Blue Note was right next door. The Blue Note is where my dad and—well not my dad necessarily, but— all my dad's friends would be there. I would very often be outside of Fran's and waving to the bouncer, who was a friend of my dad's, or my godmother who did karaoke over there. I never felt too jeopardized just because, like I said, the bouncer was a family friend over at—across the bar. But some of the patrons over there would end up getting into fights with our patrons and that happened actually pretty regularly, someone would come over and there would be a fight between the two bars. I feel like that ended up being a part of the downfall of both of them.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1766.0,1822.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/83","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nWould that take place inside Fran's or in the parking lot?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1822.0,1826.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/84","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nUsually out front on the corners. I guess— I don't really know where you would call the front door of Fran's, necessarily, because we never really used the front as the front. So, I guess down Washington Street, on Washington Street, they would happen.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1826.0,1838.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/85","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWere the patrons of the Blue Note always the instigators?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1838.0,1842.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/86","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI doubt it. I mean, I doubt it. We were a sassy bunch. It doesn't take much, you know.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1842.0,1854.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/87","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nIs it okay if we go back to what you mentioned earlier about having a child and a broken relationship?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1854.0,1866.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/88","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nThat's a bit of a jump, right!","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1866.0,1866.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/89","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nIf you're willing, do you want to sort-of fill in the gaps there?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1866.0,1870.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/90","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYeah! So, after I had run away from home, I hadn't talked to my girlfriend in over a month and a half. I definitely had some issues like thinking that— she was really smart and going places, and I felt like I was a bad influence, and I shouldn't be around her. My parents think I'm this bad person, so maybe I shouldn't be dragging everybody down. So, we didn't talk for like a month. She didn't know what happened to me and she was really upset when I finally came back and had a conversation with her. Man, did I realized I just wasn't ready for a relationship. And any relationship that I had been in with women were— it was very much an entanglement of emotions, and that wasn't something that I was in a place to be in. I dated multiple people, like different people, after that and I found going out to different bars and clubs in the city, and going to see different music. I always loved music— most of my queer friends were in Band with me. I met somebody at like a— it was actually a rave that we went to with some of my friends from Fran's. We hit it off and we got together and we ended up having a baby. That's my son, my son is nineteen now. But, he didn't want to necessarily be settled down, and we both had some severe— I postpartum depression, he had depression, he lost his job. And the only thing that was really making me happy— I was working, and taking care of the baby and dealing with all this stuff, trying to be a grown up because I had moved out by sixteen. So, trying to be a grown-up and pay my bills, and take care of a baby and take care of this man who was having a really hard time in life as well. I had my refuge in my old friends and my community that was there for me before. I kind-of got into this whole real-life adult stuff. That real-life adult stuff took up my— eighteen, nineteen, and twenty was when I was like, \"Okay, full time job. I don't have a 401k and look, I found a man and we're going to have a baby and I'm doing all the things that I should have been doing, right? Isn't this what I was supposed to be doing? [Wasn't] this is the role that I was supposed to have?\" My parents had gotten together— my mom was fifteen and my father was sixteen and they had me. There was very much this idea that you settle down young, and you get married and you have a kid, and you have a house and that's the progression of life. I still had, in the back of my head, that maybe all this attraction to women, and all that, is just because I want to be self-destructive. So, I should be more constructive with my life and do the things that I'm supposed to be doing. But, yeah, that didn't really work out for me.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1870.0,2064.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/91","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nDid your [child] live with you? Was there family support?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2064.0,2070.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/92","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYeah, so like I said, we do have a close family. Before I got pregnant, my parents had an apartment. They have a two and a half family in Lynn that they bought, and I rented out their first floor apartment, and it was very much like [a] bachelor pad for a while. But, I had the baby so... They lived upstairs— my brother and his girlfriend got pregnant when they were in high school —so he lived upstairs and our kids were a couple years apart. And obviously my sisters and my parents lived upstairs, so we had a big family house and we still do have that family house right now. It's just my two sisters, and their families, and my parents [that] live there.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2070.0,2119.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/93","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nIs it correct that you met your ex-wife at Fran's sometime thereafter?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2119.0,2127.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/94","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI did, I did. She was a friend-of-a-friend and just magnetic. She was that magnetic personality. So, I kicked out my boyfriend— I very nicely asked him to leave quite a few times, but it was hard. I started dating my ex-wife, and she was a whirlwind of excitement, and danger and everything you could imagine.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2127.0,2165.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/95","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nDangerous how?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2165.0,2167.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/96","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nShe was very self-destructive. I was like, \"I know what that's like. I understand. But, you don't have to be this way. Life could be amazing. Let's do this. We got this. We're going to be awesome.\" But, it was a lot— a lot of chaos.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2167.0,2188.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/97","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nDo you remember I'm sure you do, when the Marriage Equality Act was passed in Massachusetts?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2188.0,2195.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/98","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI do, I do. We would go to Pride and sign all the petitions, and rally for it and go to the— they weren't really marches, but they weren't necessarily protests, I would say, in the way that we talk about protests now. But yeah, I loved advocating. I've always been an advocate on some level, in some way, for whatever I'm passionate about —and it was awesome when that happened and then I remember the law was passed for us to be able to be married. And it wasn't even necessarily on my radar because I had just had a bad relationship, and tried to rush into things. But, there was some pressure because I think they were going to repeal it, like they were trying to repeal, it if I'm remembering correctly. It's been a long time and you probably know better, but there was something that was like, \"Oh well, yes you have it. But federally we're going to like repeal this so that you won't be able to be married.\" Am I right in that?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2195.0,2262.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/99","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nSo you thought—so this maybe... expedited your timetable?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2262.0,2268.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/100","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nOkay. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying! Yeah, I was like, \"Well, we might lose this. What do we do?\" I remember being at a club in Manchester, New Hampshire actually, called 'The 3-1-3'. And it was always a big deal every time we went because it was so far away, but we would try and get out there once a month. All of us [were] packed into a car like a clown car. Hm.. [I remember] proposing on the dance floor there.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2268.0,2302.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/101","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHow many people were at your wedding?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2302.0,2306.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/102","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nWell, this is when we jump ahead and you're like, \"Wait, what did I miss?\" I'm going to slowly lead into this one: so we were engaged for a while. I had when— before I had met my ex-wife—I had done a few egg donations. I was young, my partner was out of work; I had the baby to support, I was about to declare bankruptcy, so I started donating my eggs. I wasn't using them, I'm an organ donor, I was like, \"Why not?\" I had done, probably, four IVF cycles to donate eggs to different sets of parents. I had always wanted to be a surrogate because I think giving birth gave me a real sense of—this is going to sound weird— but, I really experienced the strength of my body, and of being a woman after giving birth. It was miraculous. I was like, \"Holy crap, look what I just did. I didn't know I could do this.\" I put my body through so much, and I don't appreciate the capacity that it has for a miracle. I had always thought I'd love to be a surrogate, so I went to the agency that I did my egg donations —and it was run by a gay couple, it's the 'Center for Surrogacy and Egg Donation', I think they're still around in Randolph— and it was two gay men that owned it, they were dads, they were partners. I was like, \"Hey listen, I've done a couple of these egg donations. I'm really interested in doing a surrogacy. I have my whole family here to support me, I think this would be a really good thing.\" And I was like, \"Can we do this for a gay couple?\" Because this was back when Florida had threatened—catholic charities had threatened the state of Florida, that if they allowed gay adoption, they would not allow any adoptions to happen through catholic charities in the state of Florida. It was just crappy, it was a crappy thing. I was like, \"Well, what can we do to do this? I want to be able to do the surrogacy, but support a gay couple in this.\" At this point, we had a really good rapport, because I had done so many cycles. They had matched me with four different intended parents prior to that, and he said, I can't remember his name, but he said on the phone— he was like, \"Honey, we are fresh out of gays!\" and I was like, \"Okay, well send me what you have and I'll take a look.\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2306.0,2479.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/103","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nYou didn't see 'White Lotus' did you?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2479.0,2482.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/104","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI did.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2482.0,2483.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/105","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nIt reminds me of that line when she says, \"The gays are coming to kill us!\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2483.0,2490.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/106","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYeah. So, I ended up doing the surrogacy and it was fine. It paid for my son's preschool, and just other expenses because my ex-wife quickly moved in, because she was living with her parents and they didn't get along. So, she quickly moved into my apartment, and she hadn't really found herself in what she wanted to do. She was, like, a pizza delivery person with a heavy gambling [and] lottery ticket, addiction. Most of her cash tips that she made went towards scratch tickets. I supported us with the surrogacy, and I put my son through North Shore Christian School. ...which was a thing. She said, after seeing me pregnant, [that] she wanted to have a baby. And I was like, \"That's cool. My son's five, it's probably a good time for him to have a sibling, I'm totally down for this.\" I talked to the attorneys— because the Center for Surrogacy and Egg Donation, the gentleman that ran it were attorneys, or they had a really good attorney or someone to write these kind of contracts. We talked to my brother, who at this point had two kids and was married, and lived upstairs, and we were raising our kids together. And I said, \"Hey, we're looking at what it would be like for my ex-wife to become pregnant, and would you be interested in being a sperm donor, so that the baby could be mine, in some way, genetically. [Then] we went and got contracts written up, and all this stuff. In that process, I said, \"Listen I would still love to nurse the baby, and still have this motherhood attachment because I I love motherhood, so why don't I get pregnant at the same time and we'll both be pregnant together. We have this amazing support system. We can support each other. We'll have a little bit of extra money from the surrogacy to be able to really have a nest egg for the new family, and we should probably actually get married because the only way for me to be on the birth certificate, would be if we were married.\" So, we did a courthouse wedding that wasn't necessarily intended: we got a marriage certificate, and we went to go pick it up and they said, \"You know we could marry you right now at Lynn City Hall?\" And I was like, \"Oh that's so funny!\" We weren't very good communicators, my ex-wife and I, that's why she's my ex-wife. So, I looked at her and I was like, \"I mean, you wanna get married\", and she was like, \"I don't know. You want to get married?\" And I was like, \"I don't know, maybe we should just do it.\" She was like, \"I don't know. Alright.\" So, we got married in City Hall and I was like—at this point, she hadn't gotten pregnant yet, and it was really frustrating and upsetting for her. I was, like four months pregnant so I had a belly and was in sweats, and it was on the clerk's lunch break.She was like, \"Come back here in twenty minutes.\" I was like, \"Great, because I have to pee!\" So, I got married in City Hall. The only witness was the clerk. I couldn't even tell you what day it was because we didn't tell anybody. I didn't tell my parents. My parents, I think, were still thinking maybe this is just a phase. Yeah, no one was really at my wedding to answer your question.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2490.0,2703.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/107","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHad there been any partial or gradual acceptance of your identity by your parents up until that point?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2703.0,2714.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/108","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nSo, you know what did it? I said, I used the money to— I've alluded to this a couple times—I put my son into.... I was a Sunday School teacher still with the church, I had moved on to Central Congregational at that point, it was really small. My son had grown up going, and I was researching the different schools. I knew my ex-wife really didn't have the wherewithal to take care of a five year old, it was a lot. It wasn't her child, so I didn't want to throw that burden on her. She wasn't really stable enough for it. I looked at preschools and North Shore Christian seemed like, when I looked at their curriculum— and I got to go and visit their space over off of Euclid Ave—it seemed like they were pro..—this is going to sound so dumb, I was so young—they seemed progressive. They taught about things like slavery. The kids did a thing about slavery, and I was like, \"Oh, wow! You don't get taught this in Lynn Public Schools.\" My son was super smart, and he still is. I wanted him to have the advantages that I didn't necessarily have, so half of all my surrogacy money went to putting him into North Shore Christian school. They definitely did a bit of a bait-and-switch with me, where they showed me this beautiful sprawling campus that they had, right close by my home like three blocks away, and then when I enrolled him they said, \"Oh we have this satellite place where we're going to do the preschool,\" and it was at Austin Square Baptist Church. Instead of having this beautiful soccer field and a playground, it was a parking lot in West Lynn and it was in a church basement. It was pretty much glorified Sunday School, only all day. And I worked, I was the breadwinner. I had a job in IT that I would go to every day, and my ex-wife would deliver pizza a couple days a week, and then pick my son up and bring him home to play with my brother's kids. My brother's wife took care of my son a lot. One day, I got a call that that was like, \"Hey, we're going to need you to sit down with,\"— it was the teacher—\"We're going to need you to sit down with me and the headmaster.\" And I was like, \"Okay? What is this pertaining to?\" It was something to the effect of, \"Well, Bradley has told us that his other mama was coming to pick him up from school today, and we just need to have a chat about that.\" I was like, \"O-okay.\" So, I went home after the phone call, I was driving home, and I think that I've talked, a little bit —to describe my hatred for injustice, and my need to be loud and vocal and rebel against it in every way. So, I came home in a bit of a rage. I went up to my mom and dad's house, because they were on the third floor and I lived on the first floor, and I was like, \"Mom, I know that this isn't your thing, but here's the deal. Bradley's in the school. I have a meeting with the headmaster tomorrow. They're upset that we're openly gay and they want to talk about it.\" So, my mom sat with me, and my dad just sat back, and had a beer and watched it all go down. But, my mom sat with m,e and we picked out bible verses, and we picked out like —because my mom knew the Bible. She wasn't preachy; she hated organized religion because she found it [as] just a way for men to oppress people. But, she knew the Bible, she had studied like the Dead Sea Scrolls. I don't even know what that is, nut it's something to do with the Bible. She's pulling lines out and this, and that. And I went back to North Shore, because I was still taking classes— I'm still taking classes at North Shore, I've been taking classes for like twenty years now. So, I go to North Shore, and I have all this stuff I need to get printed out, so I go to the school librarian and I was like, \"Hey, this is what's happening. I just need to print a bunch of like random bible stuff out, and some studies that I've found.\" She was like, \"Oh girl I got you.\" —and she helped me pull out some more studies about the value, and the studies that have been done on gay parents: how, generally, they're more stable, how the children are generally better educated, they're better adjusted. All this different stuff I printed out like \"Tips and Tricks for Teachers Who Have Gay Students, or Students with Gay Families\". Like, \"How do you approach this conversation? What will be a writing prompt for this conversation? —like all the tools that they could possibly need. It was like the first time my mom was ever like \"Let me support you in this.\" She has the same vicious [dislike] to injustice as me. She was like, \"Nobody's going to do this to my grandson!\" —and that's when my parents actually started getting over it. I showed up to the meeting with the headmaster, and the teacher, with a binder like this. Like a huge— I printed out like sixty page studies, it was all free. The librarian was like, \"No, we're doing this.\" It was huge. And every time they asked me a question, they were like, \"Well, you know, it's not.....we're just not really sure how to handle Father's Day.\" And I was like, \"Well, Bradley has a father. and you know— let me go through. Why don't you try this? This is a good prompt for communication for you.\" Things like that. I think that the.... I just remember saying to the headmaster, \"Well in my church, I was taught that Jesus loved everybody.\" —and, like, that being the narrative. And they were like, \"Well, we just we don't know if you really want to be here.\" I was like, \"I specifically chose this school. I'm paying you tens of thousands of dollars to be here. So like, obviously we did want to be here at one point.\" Yeah, that's when I fell out of love with religion. But, found that safety in my parents again about my sexuality that I hadn't had before. There was a disconnect, and then a strengthening of a bond all in that one event.\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=2714.0,3122.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/109","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nThat's a remarkable transition. Did your son stay in the school?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3122.0,3127.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/110","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nWe finished it out, because they didn't give me a refund. We finished it out just as aggressively as we could. They sent home— they changed school policies to... that used to be like —and most schools did this at that time — like you [couldn't] just invite certain people to a birthday party. If you're going to bring in birthday invitations, you have to invite the whole class. They specifically changed that rule in the school because they couldn't control what 'home life' situations were outside of the school. They said that — and I don't know if it was the whole school or just my son's class that got that notice home. But, we got that notice home within a week. So, it was very much: \"You're not welcome here.\" Then I learned afterwards, and this is why I was like ['duh' hand movement], Austin Square Baptist is an evangelical — the school is an evangelical Christian school. I had no idea that it was like that, and I heard more about like the pastor at Austin Square, where they were doing the pre-K, was — my dad had gone there because our reverend had retired. So, my dad and my sister had checked it out and he actually did a sermon on \"If you're gay, you're going to hell\" and it bothered my father, and it really bothered my younger sister. Because I was gay, and my dad didn't like the idea of me going to hell and someone saying that kind of thing out loud [was upsetting] because he didn't agree with it. It didn't fall in line with his religious views. So, he had never gone back there after that. But, we didn't — I didn't know that story until afterwards when my parents were like, \"Wait, he's at Austin Square Baptist? Don't you know about that place?\" I was like, \"No, tell me! I don't go to churches all the time.\"","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3127.0,3230.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/111","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHow much did your son know about what was happening?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3230.0,3235.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/112","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI don't think he knew. I don't think he knew. He had such a funny concept [of] sexuality [at that] age because he was so young, you know, pre-K— he didn't get it. But, I remember I was married, and we had done all this stuff, and I was having a baby for two gay men at this point. He said something like, \"Well, two guys being gay is is gross.\" And I was like, \"Buddy, you were raised by lesbians.\" In what world? In what world does that concept come to you?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3235.0,3276.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/113","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHow old was he when he said that?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3276.0,3278.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/114","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nOh, he was probably like six years old. Or maybe, no, he would have been younger. He would have been like four or five, so probably right around after the preschool thing. I don't know.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3278.0,3294.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/115","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nDid you and your ex continue to co-parent him once you separated? Or was she out of the picture?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3294.0,3304.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/116","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nShe was out of the picture. She wasn't well. She would show up to my house with having [hurt] herself, or burned cigarette burns into her arms. And it wasn't the kind of thing that I thought [would be smart] to have around a child. I knew that she was having a hard time, and when she would take her medication she was okay. But, I couldn't always trust that she would take her medication properly. So, I co-parented with my sister-in-law and my brother, even when she was there, more than I did with her. She ended up not being able to be pregnant, and I think there was some resentment because I did get pregnant for the gay couple. So, she started seeing other people — and we didn't necessarily have, again, we didn't have the words for this. If we had the words of like 'polyamory' it would have just fit so much better into this. We weren't necessarily monogamous, but we weren't necessarily like 'not together' and we didn't know what that was called, or what that looked like. There was no example of that, to be able to like research, or understand, or how do you process. But, we were in a[n] unethical, non-monogamous relationship, I would say. And she fell in love with one of her partners. She left abruptly, and it was really honestly just for the better. She was off her meds. She.... bless you [to Andrew's sneeze]. She was in love and she's a great person when she's in love, like she's magnetic like I said initially. She left and then she had a downward spiral, but I couldn't keep rescuing her from herself. I had a family, and I was like wicked pregnant.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3304.0,3408.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/117","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHow much longer after that did you meet your current partner John?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3408.0,3415.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/118","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYears — so, in between there. I have a very drastically chaotic life, I guess, when I talk about it. I had met — I had been dating. I was so not sure of what I was, or who I was, or what I was doing with myself. Because I had just spent the last couple years pregnant, and raising this kid, and going through a pretty rough divorce. [Then] I started dating someone that I met through an event that I organized. It was a man. It was the first time I had dated a man in a long time. It was [around] six years [since I last dated a man]. So, he was supposed to be a secret. I was like, \"You can't tell anybody that we're dating because I don't want them to think I'm dating men now.\" There was a lot of losing a lot of friends after the divorce. There was some vicious stories that would go around, and people had these ideas about what I was doing. I just tried to keep my private life very private, after the divorce. Which was difficult because Fran's was always our place [when] it was my place before. But, now it was her place because that's where her girlfriend was. That's where her other friends were. I bartended for a little while after the divorce there — and I'm a really, really bad bartender. Tisha put up with me but Tisha didn't like... I was just there because I was the only one that would work a Sunday shift, a Sunday afternoon [shift] anyway. I had met somebody and we dated, and we were together for about ten years. [But] my current partner and I had been together since COVID, so there's a bit of a jump there. It was sad to lose a lot of my friends after the divorce, because I didn't have a babysitter. I didn't have money. I couldn't go out, and go drinking with them. It wasn't healthy for me anyways because if I drink when I'm sad, I'm not a fun person to be around. So, because I took this leave-of-absence from the bar scene, all these narratives were created about why I was gone and what I was doing. My ex was able to create their own magnificent narrative, and win over all the friends that we had. I lost a lot of my queer friends after our divorce. I was pregnant and all that stuff, traveling to Florida, pumping milk for our babies. Twins, I had twins. So, I was on bed rest for a long time. I was recovering from a C-section for a long time. There was just no time to maintain relationships for people that [I] predominantly just hung out [with] when we were drinking. It was unfortunate.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3415.0,3606.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/119","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWhere are the twins now?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3606.0,3607.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/120","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nThey just had their Bat Mitzvah this year. They're in Florida. The dads are amazing, and they're super open about everything. I think I can talk about this very comfortably. There was a gentleman from Gainesville, Florida, who has this beautiful community, or [as] I like to call it a 'commune', where his family bought this huge piece of land in Gainesville, or just outside of Gainesville. Created their own school, and they have it set up that if you're a teacher at the school, your kids can go there for free. You can live on campus. They'll give you your own trailer that you can live in. You're just part of this, like, is it a cabal? Is that the term that I want? Because they're a Jewish family, I feel like it's got those roots of just a 'commune' to support everybody.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3607.0,3662.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/121","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nLike a kibbutz?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3662.0,3663.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/122","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nKibbutz, that's the word! That's what it reminds me of. The other dad was a dentist from Cuba who was going back to school to get his licensing and accreditation in in the U.S. They were just the most adorable couple in the world, and they — we did two IVF cycles, and they each one of them had like a.... I'm looking for the words, I apologize, like, — like an inseminated egg with their DNA. They had an egg donor who was Guatemalan, because they wanted to make sure that no matter what the kids had some type of Latino, Hispanic background. But, they couldn't decide on who would be the first dad, and which embryo to insert — that's what it is, fertilized embryo — so they put them both in, and they were like, \"Alright, usually one is gone, so we'll throw two against the wall and see what sticks,\" and they both did. So, they each had a biological son that I carried, which was really cool. They're great. They travel the world, and they still have the whole commune that they live and they work in. And the dad's a dentist in the U.S., and he has a great practice. I just saw them last October, and they were telling me about their trip that they took down the Amazon River. They brought me back, like — they brought gifts for me and for Bradley, my oldest, because they remember Bradley being four or five years old when I was pregnant.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3663.0,3759.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/123","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nDo you happen to remember if that was before or after October Seventh when Hamas invaded Israel?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3759.0,3770.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/124","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nIt was actually not this October. Wait, was it? Yeah, it was September. No, last year in October. It was definitely before, but I can't remember if it was the year before. October is also our busy season, so it feels like a year every year. We do all the Haunted Happenings, Halloween stuff.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3770.0,3790.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/125","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nIt was fifteen months ago, not three months ago.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3790.0,3797.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/126","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYeah. fifteen months ago.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3797.0,3802.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/127","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI imagine they probably would have been talking about it if they had been so close to that. How do you... I think you described this a little bit, but: how did your decision to enter into a relationship with a man affect your sense of yourself, and how others perceived you?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3802.0,3829.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/128","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nThat's a big one. That was a huge struggle. Like I said, I told him I wasn't allowed. I wouldn't be official on Facebook with him — I wasn't really comfortable with the idea. I didn't think it was going to last. He would come to Fran's to see me when I bartended, but he had to do it in secret because he didn't want anyone to know. He very much had this young vibe of my father: very machismo, the opposite of everything that I was always attracted to. He would say stuff to his friends like, \"Oh, I turned to you straight.\" It was just annoying, I didn't know how to explain to him what sexuality was, because it was this very linear, black and white idea, that he had of it. I think that's really where I adopted the term 'queer' for myself [which] is actually coming out and figuring out my identity, because I felt like bisexual wasn't doing it. I felt like the term bisexual was just something.... it was seen negatively in the queer community because there was these ideas of \"Oh, you're not really part of the community because you're dating a guy right now.\" That was a lot of the feelings and the \"Well, she's just straight again. This was just an experiment for her.\" Like a six year marriage was an experiment. That was the vibe for when you were bisexual, I think, in that time frame. On the straight side of the spectrum, or the straight side of it, being bi meant seemed like you just kissed girls for attention — that you're just attention seeking. I didn't feel like I fell into either of those categories. I didn't like the association, or the idea between either of those when I felt bi on [or] from whatever perspective it was.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3829.0,3968.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/129","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHow do you feel about the term the term LGBTQ+ as an umbrella organization? Do you feel like it is inclusive or is it too big a tent to capture the particulars of each of those individual identities?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3968.0,3991.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/130","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI was actually thinking about that yesterday. It's weird that these are questions that we ask ourselves as we drive down the street. I was thinking about how we have asexual people, as part of the 'A' in the alphabet. I like to call it the 'alphabet mafia' because it seems funner to say. How does that —how do we come to this broad of a spectrum, and still make it inclusive? What's the phrase that I want to use? Give me a second. It's gonna take a second. Come to me. Where's that intersection? Do people who are asexual feel like they're part of this movement? Do they feel like they should be grouped together with someone who is just a lesbian? Is that [sic] the same idea? Why are ideas of gender so closely tied to sexuality? My middle child is non-binary. Her dad, my ex, the one I tried to keep a secret, he said that I was pushing my gay agenda on them. I was like, \"But, non-binary isn't necessarily gay. It's just a rejection of gender roles.\" This is a societal change, not necessarily that a \"I'm attracted to a certain type of person.\" I don't know. I think that what I've learned, to create an area of inclusion and belonging, I think [the] first rule of thumb is to shut up and listen and hold space. If that space needs to be held near the LGBTQIA+ umbrella, I'm here for that. We'll figure it out. I may not get it. I may not use the right pronouns all the time. I may not be able to make the connection in my head, but just because I can't make it doesn't mean it's not there. It's just not my lived experience. I think it's important to just let people live their lived experience, and claim what they need to be able to make themselves feel like they're part of what they are, as part of who we are, as a whole.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=3991.0,4146.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/131","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nDo you maybe want to talk a little bit about your youth advocacy and creating those community spaces?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4146.0,4158.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/132","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nSure. I think, while I'm not necessarily on the front lines of youth advocacy, I['d] like to be able to make sure that there's a space held for it. I have a non-binary child, and growing up in a space where I didn't have words for a lot of of the things, like I said multiple times, I didn't know what a polycule was. I didn't know what non binary was. I didn't have a concept of what queer was to me until what queer was to me until I was thirty or twenty-five, anyway. I want the kids now to be able to have that space held for them, so that they can bounce around and feel what's comfortable in their skin and what words work for them. As an organization, the company that I work for, that my partner created, has always been in support of the LGBTQIA. The company is predominantly queer and always has been. It was actually run by someone who was transgender, and kind-of handed off to him. We've always supported N.A.G.L.Y., we've always supported North Shore Pride in whatever aspects that we could historically. My advocacy is more just connecting resources — people to resources. It's kind of what my skill set. I collect people and I collect resources and information, and I try and share those out. So, what that looks like for me is kind of trying to stay in the know, and being willing to listen. That has looked like at times... I was helping a restaurant with outdoor dining and the owner pulled me aside and asked if there were any resources for their transgender niece, because their family was Catholic, Latino, from South America, and they weren't finding a place of inclusion at home, or in their community and they needed something else. So, it was connecting them to N.A.G.L.Y. Same with my nephew, who is transgender, and hasn't really been part of an after-school program or anything like that, so [I was] bringing them to their first pride. Then, for my child, just being willing to take them to a queer friendly salon to go and get their first haircut. You know what I mean? Like, 'boy cut.' I don't know. And just sharing again resources. Always being able to say, \"Hey, there's a place for you. There's a place for you to be here. Here's a room that you should sit in. Here's a table that I'd like to bring you over to that you can talk to somebody about what you're going through.\" I think that work is important. I didn't start RGSA at Lynn English. I think I said that. I want to definitely give all that credit to Denae, and I don't know if you've talked to Denae yet, but I hope you do. But I was there.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4158.0,4370.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/133","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI did.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4370.0,4370.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/134","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nYou did? Good. She's amazing. She was probably the first, maybe the second, queer person that I had ever really known. But the only one that was close to my age. She's always been a fascinating and amazing human. My girlfriend in high school... they didn't have a GSA at Lynn Classical, so I remember gathering those resources and bringing those to her so that she would have like here's what we did. Here's our game plan. This is what we went through, so she would have that to be able to help get Lynn started in classical. Which later on my brother went to classical and that's how he met his wife was at the GSA. I'm glad it was there. But, that's a lot of my youth advocacy. I think we got hit pretty hard. Everyone got hit pretty hard during COVID, and we had already lost our spaces as a queer community. But, like, being sure that when we were collecting resources and information that we also collected LGBTQIA specific resources to be able to share for those in need. Because, it can be definitely a difficult time, or a different experience, you know, through a gay lens — a rainbow lens.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4370.0,4456.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/135","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nHow are you feeling in general about the state of LGBTQIA+ advocacy? There are certain aspects I suspect that are leaps and bounds better than when you were growing up and yet, we sort of feel like we're in a bit of a moment of backlash at the same time. What are your thoughts?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4456.0,4490.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/136","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nSo, we moved to a more conservative area. And the first person my kid really became friends with is a misgendered child. Y'know, we don't think much of it around here. But, when we had met the parents, they had told us that they had lost their lifelong, not lifelong, [but] really close family, that they had raised their kids together and stuff, [but] when their kiddo came out as transgender, the family stopped talking to them, said that they don't agree with it. And the parents, and the children all lost that bond and that relationship. They talked about how hard it has been in school. I guess, it's just— I think there's more space for hate now than I think there was before. I don't think we said the quiet things out loud as much as we do now. Which, I mean, get it all out. At least we know where we stand if everyone is being loud and honest, I guess. I think there's a lot of violence, and that's the hard part. But, I also feel very strongly that violence is a symptom of poverty, in some way. That if everyone was doing okay, if our systems in general weren't so broken, I don't think people would focus on who's in love with who as much as they do. But, it's an easy scapegoat and an easy outlet for anger. I don't know. We can keep moving forward with our civil rights, and things like that, but I think there needs to be some really big systems changes [in order] to really address the heart of the problem that's dividing our communities instead of just the actual division. There's a root cause to a lot of this.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4490.0,4634.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/137","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI know we're somewhat pressed for time.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4634.0,4639.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/138","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI can give you a little more too. It's just an intern— I'm just interviewing somebody.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4639.0,4649.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/139","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nLet's try to move toward a more optimistic note: Thirty, forty years from now, when historians find your interview in the archives and they're learning about this moment in LGBTQ+ history, what is your ideal vision for what their world looks like and how our culture will have changed in order to embrace greater tolerance?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4649.0,4691.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/140","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nI think that— this is what I would like to see in forty years: I will be excited to have less labels, but more language —if that makes sense. I'd love to be able to have the language to explain things. But, I don't like having to fit myself into a box. I feel like sometimes, as we label ourselves, and what we are and who we are. I feel like sometimes I'm forced to fit myself into a box, and I've never felt that way. I've never really felt 'bi'. I started saying — being comfortable with saying my pronouns can be anything. I think Christian is the one who really inspired that. I was like, \"You can do that because that's cool.\" Christian was like, \"Yeah, I can.\" I was like, \"I'm here for this.\" I love being able to have the language for things and being like, \"Oh, I don't feel like I fit into this label that you have. But I do experience these.\" I hope we have that, because I feel like sometimes labels can divide us, [while] language can bring us together if that makes sense.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4691.0,4770.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/141","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nAbsolutely. We'll call that the penultimate question. We're not going to leave your intern hanging for too long, but.... maybe let's return to Fran's for the end of our interview. There were somewhere between twelve and fifteen gay and lesbian bars in Lynn. Some, like Fran's, going back to the 1930s. None of those exist anymore. What are your thoughts about what bars like that provided? And what do you think this generation is losing by not having them there?","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4770.0,4818.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/142","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nI feel like my generation has lost most of our third spaces for every community. From skateboarders not allowed to skate to gay to being closed. Fran's, I feel like, was a victim of NIMBY more than it was a victim of being pushed because they were gay. We don't want that around our homes, in general. I think that having that safe place to go and do my homework, or go and meet the person that I love, or go and just dance to be able to let all the frustration out is something that I miss so much. I haven't even been able to find that [again]. I had never gone to any other bar or any straight bar until I was probably almost thirty. I had only been to gay bars, because men are just so aggressive that to be surrounded by straight men was scary. I felt like I was in danger going to other bars. I knew I wasn't getting roofied in Fran's, but I've been roofied in other bars in Lynn. I don't know. I lost that safe space. That's hard because I think that's a men's issue. Because it was so rowdy, and people wanted it quiet, the laws changed in Lynn to make it so that the bars weren't open. We used to be able to rival Boston. Maybe it's just because Tisha would say this every time: \"It was a slow night.\" But that law killed the bars. [Anyone] who went to bars before knew that. There just weren't people. There was not enough people there. They tried to hang on to Fran's for so long. I remember Jay sitting at the bar, and sitting next to him, and talking about it. He was just like, \"I don't know how we can float this place anymore. I'm going to have to sell. There are people who want to buy it.\" It's sad that we've lost that. It was kind of messed up that [the] community was built in a bar, and we didn't really have another. So once a bar is gone, we don't have another place to be in. Once I stopped going to Fran's, because I was pregnant and going through the divorce, and it wasn't healthy for me to be out drinking in any way, I had no community. I think maybe it would be great if we could build space for people that isn't based in some type of unhealthy community. I'm kind of all over the place with your answer.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=4818.0,5018.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/143","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nNot at all. I wonder if you think that that community now happens in digital spaces, and also, on a more optimistic note, if LGBTQ people are more capable to go to other spaces that they were in danger [with]in previously.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=5018.0,5046.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/144","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nDefinitely. I think that we find ourselves..... well, we did. Again, there's this whole backlash of violence that I think has come out in the last couple of years. But prior to that, it wasn't really that big of a deal, especially Massachusetts, to be openly gay. I was shocked whenever it was a thing. I was like, \"Are you serious? Massachusetts, right?\" My first thought when the headmaster was like, \"you guys are openly gay?\" I was like, \"But who isn't? Are people in the closet? I didn't know that people were in the closet.\" We're able to go to other places. I think digital spaces is the only way I was able to really stay connected. I'm grateful for Facebook. I wouldn't have met Coco, or any of the generations just before me, if it wasn't for these digital spaces being opened up. Even — I still don't — we had — United Lynn Pride did their first big thing one year [and] I was invited to come and speak. [Then] I saw a group of my old friends [and] they were like, \"Tia, she's still around?\" I was like, \"Oh! oh, look. The people I would get drunk with when I was twenty-one.\" Yeah, I'm still here, still queer.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=5046.0,5127.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/145","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Andrew Darien\n\nWell, I'm glad you're still around. I'm very grateful for your forthrightness and honesty, and insight. Clearly we covered a lot of heavy emotional terrain, so I want to thank you for going through that. This was very, very enlightening.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=5127.0,5150.0"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/transcript/66633/annotation/146","type":"Annotation","motivation":"transcribing","body":{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Tia Cole\n\nAwesome. Well, thank you for your time and this was good. I'm excited to see what this project brings forth.","format":"text/plain"},"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=5150.0,5155.789"}]},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476","type":"AnnotationPage","label":{"en":["Tia Cole index [Index]"]},"items":[{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/147","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":" I have a love of High Rock Tower.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=126.485,189.455"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/148","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":" I feel safe when I'm with my people.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=189.455,250.486"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/149","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Shootings and stuff right outside of the house.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=250.486,272.649"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/150","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was the oldest of four siblings.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=272.649,305.27"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/151","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"My parents were like born again Christians. ","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=305.27,359.046"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/152","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Queer person falling in and out of religion.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=359.046,410.781"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/153","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was a stubborn, smart bookworm.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=410.781,503.07"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/154","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I wasn't allowed to dye my hair red.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=503.07,597.633"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/155","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I joined the Gay Straight Alliance.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=597.633,653.741"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/156","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Most of our high school group were queer. ","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=653.741,730.329"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/157","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Columbine was my freshman year.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=730.329,794.633"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/158","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"My parents were very homophobic.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=794.633,855.675"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/159","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"My mother was very much a feminist.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=855.675,905.76701"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/160","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":" I ran away from home after that incident.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=905.76701,1038.085"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/161","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":" I came back with with short purple hair.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1038.085,1048.04"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/162","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I was homeless and rebellious.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1048.04,1112.24"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/163","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":" I earned my GED before I dropped out.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1112.24,1215.749"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/164","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"I didn't know we were a \"polycule\".","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1215.749,1273.926"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/165","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Everyone was still trying to figure out gender.","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1273.926,1377.02"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/166","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":" Fran's was my \"third place\".","format":"text/plain","label":{"en":["Title"]}}],"target":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959#t=1377.02,1500.782"},{"id":"https://througharainbowlens.aviaryplatform.com/collections/2385/collection_resources/123709/file/226959/index/82476/annotation/167","type":"Annotation","motivation":"supplementing","body":[{"type":"TextualBody","value":"Fran's was quiet for me then. 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